Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ways to Increase Vocal Range - secrets revealed

Ways to increase vocal range:

(note: I have tried many of these with great success)

1. Have your singing partner alternate between stomping on your toes and calling you names.
2. Try to shift pages 5, 6 and 7 on top of 1, 2, 3, and 4 while accompanying on the piano, singing, and helping out the flute player.
3. Milk the cows in shorts and a tank top during snow season, then make sure you infect all of the basses with pneumonia.
4. Helium works wonders...
5. Find out your little sisters used your handmade quilt for their outdoor tea party... and left it on a dirt patch in the rain all night. Confront them.
6. Falsetto opera. Lots of vibrato.
7. Mind meld with Tim Storms.
8. Sing with a clarinet player who doesn't know how to transpose.
9. Sopranos can pretend they are outstanding counter-tenors.
10. Put the said sopranos on a caffeine and sugar diet at midnight.

I am available for personal consultation on these singing methods. $50 an hour with a materials fee, ask for my lesson policy and sign-up sheet.


Julia Horton said...

ROFL Wow, Emily!!! This is absolutely hysterical! And of course, very true... lol
I say we try #10 together soon. I bet it would totally work... ;)

Garden of Glory said...

We totally should ;)

Sarah said...

I got a free lesson on Sunday! :D I love these! They are proven methods. Were you referring to me about the sugar thing? ;)

King's child said...

Genius! ;D I guess if I can't be brilliant, than I'll have a friend who's brilliant!

Singing falsetto opera with sisters at 10:00 p.m. is my personal favorite method of improving my singing skills. ;)


Garden of Glory said...

How did you guess, Sarah? :P

Christi said...

You forgot the "get a cold... scientifically proven to turn sopranos into basses" LOL :)