Sarah: "He used to talk about the land as if it owned him..."
Jacob: "It did."
~ from Sarah, Plain and Tall ~
What a fantastic week. Dance class, phone call, walk near a pond, day at Sauve Island, watching 'Father Goose' and eating homemade ice cream, laughter at a restaurant following a memorable ball, powerful scripture lessons during church, teasing afterwards, and photo scavenger hunt at the mall.
This kind of a world is so easy to get caught up in. Who doesn't enjoy such wonderful times for developing friendships and simply enjoying life? I certainly don't know what I would do without such godly, great friends that God has blessed me with.
Still, there are two worlds:
Some people write their name in the land later in their life... others are born to it. The country is in how they think, what they dream about, who they are as a person. They don't even have to try to BE country. Nature is not something they worship, but the essence of what it means to live and breath the manifested glory of God. They are at home among their family, God's creatures, and digging their toes in the garden dirt while pulling weeds. More at home sitting on a fallen log, watching the stillness of a summer sunset than among the glitz of technology, music and social networking.
Other people are born to live and thrive in the city, and that's great :) There's a lot to be said for making an impact in a community where you don't have to go far to reach a lot of people, and finding your God-given purpose near the center of society. Frequent good times with friends, shopping, and all the fun uses of today's technology have a definite pull. Driving to and from different activities and engagements becomes a daily part of life.
I can't live wholly in both worlds.
Back when I belonged to the FB community, I soon learned two things: that I don't get nearly enough work done (I'm easily distracted :P), and that the appearance of being 'connected' was not real. I can't live in that world.
Now, with a circle of friends who live in cities 15 or more miles away, I find myself trying to lean on my family to fill in for me while I'm away from home having fun. My dad especially gets frustrated at me. I can't dump my job in their lap, it's not their dream. I'm pulled in two directions: can I continue to juggle both a highly active social life and farming enterprise? I know it is simpler to be one or the other. Indeed, if experience is the best indicator, I must be one or the other, or I will fail at both.
Does this make sense? I can dress stylishly, learn the modern way to make conversation, become knowledgeable about movies and music so I can relate to seemingly everyone else on the planet, and it won't make me into a non-country girl. It can't even be totally described in all those popular country songs. It's a simple life I've been born to love. Where else do I have the chance to thrill at the sight of my Jerseys grazing a field of clover, or a plum tree humming with honey bees? Where else do my friends and I learn to laugh as we work, milking cows and butchering chickens? Where else can I wear overalls without feeling like a dork, and pause for a few minutes to pray, arms resting on the hay loft window?
Praying to find the balance between this social world and farm world. There's no reason to say goodbye to my friends who have invested so much into my life. How can I be with them, enjoying these city activities while still filling my role here?
Two worlds.
5 comments:
i think that's an ok tension to live in, don't you? it doesn't have to be wholly one way or wholly the other. i may not be fully understanding your dilemma, but really, within that tension you can thrive, it's not like you are not you outside of your comfort zone. you are you wherever you go, you just have to adapt to the context. i hope that makes sense. what do ya think? i might be totally off topic, but that's what popped into my mind :)
Hi, Caleb Hardy here.
Visiting your blog I couldn't help notice the voice singing-
"Ye fleeting charms of earth farewell!
Your springs of joy are dry;
My soul now seeks another home.
A brighter world on high."
That's a beautiful song for our pilgrimage here.
Maybe you should come up to the city for one of the singings from the "Sacred Harp" Hymnal that take place here. We sing that song as well as many other beautiful, powerful hymns so I think you're a likely prospect for liking it. My Church is hosting one this Sunday from 3-5pm.
Hi Caleb,
Glad to have you visit!
You're right, I've wanted to attend a Sacred Harp sing for quite some time. Lol, this is another of those times where I wish I could live both in the center of society, and still be in the country. Thanks for the invite, I'll surely think on it.
Gretchen,
There's too much tension. You're right, a balance is key, but I'm not finding it. Isn't adapting to the context another way of saying acting differently in order to fit in... it may not change who I am, but is it right? Something I'm trying to figure out. Thanks for your thoughts!
Hi Emily,
Due to family/farm life I don't get to visit your blog too often. As I was catching up on some of your earlier posts, I came across this one.
As I read, a couple of verses that came to me were..."For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Luke 12:34) and "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."
The Greek definition of double-minded is:
1a) wavering, uncertain, doubting
1b) divided in interest
In Thayer's (New Testament Greek-English Lexicon) it is:
a) two spirited, that is, vacillating (in opinion or purpose):—double minded.
(B.T.W. I don't mean to imply that I think you are double-minded!! =))
This scripture is constantly inspiring me to question the motives behind my desires.
I think it is important to remember that...'The Good is always good, but the Best is always better.'
It isn't easy to find the best in life when there is so much that is good.
Just a couple of thoughts. =)
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